There is a story about Lord Buddha.
One disciple came to Buddha and said, ‘My mind is full of turmoil. I feel so guilty, I feel so bad, I feel so this and that’, and he just said a lot of things. And Buddha just told him to go and get some water from a pond.
So he went there and saw the pond was so muddy. He said, ‘Lord the water is so muddy, I can’t get it.’
Buddha smiled and said why don’t you try again . So this man went on and on. A little while later Buddha told him again to go get some water. The disciple said, ‘but it was all muddy’.
Buddha said, ‘no, go and get the water.’
So when Buddha insisted he had no other choice but to just go.
When he went there, by that time the water had already settled and it was clear. He brought the glass of water and gave Buddha. Buddha looked at the disciple and smiled and the disciple got the answer.
Unfortunately we have so many books written, so many concepts on how to love yourself and make the guilt go away and blah, blah, blah.
I don’t think it will help in the long run, even if it has for a short time.
Trying to repair the emotions, correct the emotions, this is all a useless phenomenon and it only makes it worse.
There is a saying in Sanskrit; suppose you have a wound and you go on scratching the wound, it’s not going to get better. Every time you scratch it you make it worse.
This is exactly what you are doing, you try to get rid of this thing or that thing or feel better about yourself, love yourself or not love yourself. All this is useless. What you are doing here is the best, do yoga, meditate, become hollow and empty and everything else gets taken care of.